Arguments can be healthy

It's all about how you deal with the conflict. Have you ever stopped mid-sentence, red in the face from screaming and thought: "What am I doing?" Being under pressure from juggling work, home, your partner and children, means sometimes an even superwoman has a bad day. Inevitably, you lash out at your partner. The end result? Two very grumpy adults who have blurted out a torrent of words that cannot be taken back. Yes, everybody has bad days and everyone has emotions they need to get off their chests, it's how you manage those emotions that count.

Healthy anger is recognizing that something has pushed your buttons. It involves owning your feelings, stopping to think, then responding, rather than just reacting. Also it is fine to communicate with your partner in an assertive, respectful way in order to resolve conflict or to state your needs and arguing can become a waste of energy and can rapidly deteriorate into a tit-for-tat slanging match that creates conflict and hurt.

Whenever you fell that there is something bothering you, it's important to sort this out and not leave it. Anger is a charge of energy that gets stored in your body. It does not magically disappear, so you need to clear it and one way is through good communication.

It is completely normal for couples to argue, because the studies show that the most important predictor of success or failure of a marriage is not whether the couple fights, but the ratio of positive interactions to negative interactions.

For a marriage to work there must be five positive interactions for every negative one. Never let anything go unresolved. Respect differences of opinion and allow space when this is needed. If there is something you are not happy with, then resolve it through assertive communication. When anger manifests, you must change the particular situation that you are not happy with and be open to negotiate if necessary. You don't have to win every fight to prove a point.

Conflict in relationships takes many forms. Interestingly, research shows that women initiate discussions about problem about 80 percent of the time. Women also tend to make a global attack. You never do anything around the house, rather than focusing on a specific complaint like "You haven't taken out the rubbish." You need to identify the source of your anger and try not putting the blame on your partner. Reason for arguing may include finances, your children, unequal workloads, or simply not being heard or understood.