Meeting the Ex

One of my friends has a special talent, she can lip-read. A few weeks ago and while I was sporting a mocked up, backcombed, hair extravaganza, we met up in bar for a girls' night out. We're all laughing at my mad hair when in walks my two-timing ex with a new girl hanging off his arm. I felt so sick I nearly spilled my drink.

I shouldn't really have done it, but asking my lip-reading friend to tell me what they were saying about me was just too tempting.

They are talking about my hair the entire time. She's saying my hair looks ridiculous he's telling her I probably think 'it's quite fantastic'. I'm crying with laughter when a delicious plan takes shape. I went over to my ex's table and say in a loud voice. 'Listen, I will still be the bigger person here, but just want you to know that I DO think my hair looks quite fantastic', quoting him word for word. He looks under the table for a microphone, 'Is this some kind of trick?' he hisses.

I respond with an enigmatic, smile, turn on my heel and walk out with my head held high, savoring my silent victory.