No Regrets

Don't put your life on hold because of a niggling regret. Learn from it, then let it go and move forward with joy.

To feel regret is to feel sorrow, grief or loss and to wish that things had turned out differently. Common regrets are over missed career opportunities, financial losses, parenting mistakes and relationship breakdowns.

It's normal to have regrets. Humans are very analytical and often question how their life is progressing and what could have been. But always looking at the past can be debilitating. Regret can really get in the way of happiness because it can keep us stuck. Ruminating over thoughts that begin with 'If only' affects not only our own quality of life but can also affect our partner and children.

And there are whose who take anticipated regret into account when making decisions. They're so frightened of making the wrong choice and having to live with regret that they avoid risks at all costs. So many opportunities are lost when there is a fear of regret.

Not possible to regret-proof your life, but here are some steps to deal with those 'What if?'moments.
Incentive
Remember that punishing yourself over the past will be affecting your relationships with loved ones. Use their future happiness as an added incentive to deal with your past.

Examine the circumstances
what was happening in your life when you made the decision that is causing you to feel regret? Were the things outside your control? Did you make the right decision with the information you had then? Are you just using hindsight now?

Realistic expectations
Expecting too much of yourself will lead to regret or a fear of regret. You can't be perfect all the time. You'll make mistakes. Would you expect such perfection in those you love? Do you find it easier to forgive others than forgive yourself?

Learn from your mistakes
Successful, happy people make lots of decisions. Some turn out well, others will be mistakes. Learning not to make the same mistake twice is a normal part of life. Maybe you'll need to apologise along the way. Perhaps you can use your regrets to help others by being able to empathise and support people in difficult situations.

Take about it
living with a sense of deep shame is paralysing. Holding on to a secret regret, fearing that if others know you'd be cast out, stops you getting close to anyone. Confide in a close friend. Ask for their understanding. Take comfort in their reassuring reaction and enjoy the new-found closeness that develops.

A word of caution, if the regret is all, consuming and you find some extreme form of punishment, you might well be clinically depressed. Please seek the help of a qualified counsellor or psychologist.